Repose Library
A Curated Selection of our Therapists’ Recommended Reading to Enrich Your Journey
The Dance of Connection By Harriet Lerner
The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self.
The 5 Love Languages
Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.
Should I Try to Work It Out? By Alan Hawkins, Tamara Fackrell, Steven Harris
This guidebook is designed to be a resource to individuals who may be thinking about getting a divorce or whose spouse is thinking about divorce. The guidebook contains research-based information about important questions that individuals at the crossroads of divorce often have.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work By John Gottman
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
Safe People By Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Why do we choose the wrong people to get involved with? Is it possible to change? And if so, where does one begin? Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance. They help identify the nurturing people we all need in our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Safe People will help you to recognize 20 traits of relationally untrustworthy people. Discover what makes some people relationally safe, and how to avoid unhealthy entanglements. You'll learn about things within yourself that jeopardize your relational security. And you'll find out what to do and what not to do to develop a balanced, healthy approach to relationships.
Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch Ph.D
Passionate Marriage has long been recognized as the pioneering book on intimate human relationships. Now with a new preface by the author, this updated edition explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. Acclaimed psychologist David Schnarch guides couples toward greater intimacy with proven techniques developed in his clinical practice and worldwide workshops. Chapters―covering everything from understanding love relationships to helpful "tools for connections" to keeping the sparks alive years down the road―provide the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional problems. This inspirational book is sure to help couples invigorate their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives.
More Than Two by Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert
Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Absolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now the new book More Than Two can help you find your own way. With completely new material and a fresh approach, Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert wrote More Than Two to expand on and update the themes and ideas in the wildly popular polyamory website morethantwo.com.
Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
This book is helpful for those in a committed relationship who are working on renewing or creating intimacy in their everyday lives.
Intimacy & Desire by Dr. David Schnarch
In Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship, Dr. Schnarch explains why couples in long term relationships have sexual desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. Through case studies of couples he worked with, Dr. Schnarch shows why normal marital conflict can be the cause of desire problems and creates a roadmap for how couples can transform marital conflict into a stronger relationship and a font of new and powerful desire for each other. He takes it a step further, giving readers simple but effective exercises that will help them reconnect with each other.
How To Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
Written by a renowned Buddhist monk and global spiritual teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of the primary emotion of love and how our relationship with it connects us to others we love and also in humanity.
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.
Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody
Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery.
Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry by Albert Bernstein Ph.D.
Best-selling author Albert J. Bernstein helped thousands of people deal with the dangerously stupid at work in Dinosaur Brains. In Emotional Vampires he goes even further to protect unsuspecting mortals from more devious and harmful creatures vampires ready to bite, suck, and kill the emotional and psychological wellbeing of their victims. Like the fabled demons, these vampires come in many shapes: -The living dead who think their talents place them above the laws of nature -Lords of darkness with huge egos and tiny consciences -Scary monsters who use their tempers in the same way terrorists use bombs -Blood-suckers who think others were created for their convenience Emotional Vampires tells readers how to spot a vampire in their lives, which defense strategies to employ to prevent one from striking, and what to do if and when they find themselves under attack.
Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy Behary
Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.
Difficult Conversations by Douglas stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
This book helps individuals learn ways to navigate challenging conversations with peers, romantic partners, colleagues, and/or family members. It provides insight on ways to better understand the underlying structure of difficult conversations, to start conversations without defensiveness, to listen for the meaning of what is not said, stay balanced while/if being accused, and to find a balance between acknowledging emotions and problem solving.
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Ph.D.
An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works—based on groundbreaking research and brain science—that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.
Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations.
Attached by Dr. Amir Levine & Rachel S.F. Heller M.A.
Attached delivers a scientific explanation why some relationships thrive and why some do not based on the different attachment styles.
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Great for couples or clients looking for insight into their relationships
Loving like you mean it, by Ronald J Frederick, PhD
This book utilizes neuroscience and attachment theory to help individuals learn ways to break free from old emotional habits, to befriend their emotional experiences, and to develop new ways of relating to others' in order to create the capacity for deep and successful romantic relationships.