Repose Library

A Curated Selection of our Therapists’ Recommended Reading to Enrich Your Journey

All, Mental Health, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Mental Health, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

The Dance of Connection By Harriet Lerner

The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

The 5 Love Languages

Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse’s primary love language—quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work By John Gottman

John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

Safe People By Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Why do we choose the wrong people to get involved with? Is it possible to change? And if so, where does one begin? Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance. They help identify the nurturing people we all need in our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Safe People will help you to recognize 20 traits of relationally untrustworthy people. Discover what makes some people relationally safe, and how to avoid unhealthy entanglements. You'll learn about things within yourself that jeopardize your relational security. And you'll find out what to do and what not to do to develop a balanced, healthy approach to relationships.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch Ph.D

Passionate Marriage has long been recognized as the pioneering book on intimate human relationships. Now with a new preface by the author, this updated edition explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. Acclaimed psychologist David Schnarch guides couples toward greater intimacy with proven techniques developed in his clinical practice and worldwide workshops. Chapters―covering everything from understanding love relationships to helpful "tools for connections" to keeping the sparks alive years down the road―provide the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional problems. This inspirational book is sure to help couples invigorate their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

More Than Two by Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert

Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Absolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now the new book More Than Two can help you find your own way. With completely new material and a fresh approach, Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert wrote More Than Two to expand on and update the themes and ideas in the wildly popular polyamory website morethantwo.com.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

Intimacy & Desire by Dr. David Schnarch

In Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship, Dr. Schnarch explains why couples in long term relationships have sexual desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. Through case studies of couples he worked with, Dr. Schnarch shows why normal marital conflict can be the cause of desire problems and creates a roadmap for how couples can transform marital conflict into a stronger relationship and a font of new and powerful desire for each other. He takes it a step further, giving readers simple but effective exercises that will help them reconnect with each other.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix

Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry by Albert Bernstein Ph.D.

Best-selling author Albert J. Bernstein helped thousands of people deal with the dangerously stupid at work in Dinosaur Brains. In Emotional Vampires he goes even further to protect unsuspecting mortals from more devious and harmful creatures vampires ready to bite, suck, and kill the emotional and psychological wellbeing of their victims. Like the fabled demons, these vampires come in many shapes: -The living dead who think their talents” place them above the laws of nature -Lords of darkness with huge egos and tiny consciences -Scary monsters who use their tempers in the same way terrorists use bombs -Blood-suckers who think others were created for their convenience Emotional Vampires tells readers how to spot a vampire in their lives, which defense strategies to employ to prevent one from striking, and what to do if and when they find themselves under attack.

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All, Mental Health, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Mental Health, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

Disarming the Narcissist by Wendy Behary

Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

Difficult Conversations by Douglas stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen

This book helps individuals learn ways to navigate challenging conversations with peers, romantic partners, colleagues, and/or family members. It provides insight on ways to better understand the underlying structure of difficult conversations, to start conversations without defensiveness, to listen for the meaning of what is not said, stay balanced while/if being accused, and to find a balance between acknowledging emotions and problem solving.

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All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo All, Relationships Kristi Spagnuolo

Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations.

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